What a great movie. I was always a fan of Sassy. And that Chance was annoying, but I digress. Today is not a ‘home’ post, it’s just going to be a re-cap of our trip home, and the accompanying emotions.
This past weekend Bryan and I went home, to my parents, for the first time since Christmas. It was great to be back in the area where I knew all the roads and could get from point A to point B without consulting my phone. It was great to see my family face-to-face instead of via picture messages.
We were able to fit in a wedding (Congrats Karstie and Chris!); my
little taller brother’s birthday (yay Alex!) Can’t believe you are 15, and almost as tell as Brandon! Bryan and I are soon to be the shortest of the family. And we also got to fit in my sweet cousin’s 30th birthday celebration (you looked gorgeous Em!) It was great to see my sweet cousins, don’t see them near enough and we were so glad we could make it.
I have years worth of memories of us playing on the beach, making plans that someday our kids would play on the beach together, like the big family groups with lots of adults and tons of kids. Maybe someday we will actually fulfill it!
Those two family events made it more than worth the 8 hours in the car. And the two hours of traffic. Seeing my mom, dad, brothers, sister, grandparents, cousins, and aunt made it such a great weekend. We missed a few cousins, and an aunt and uncle, wish they all could have come. My family is small, very small, and those who have passed away left behind holes that can’t be filled, but I am so thankful for the few I still have. *tear
It was fantastic to visit my parents church. The new building was fabulous, but the people that make the church were even better. The church we attend here in Ct is great, but there is nothing like knowing so many of the large congregation and being greeted by them. I’m part of the family there. It’s a stark reminder of how much nicer everyone is in PA compared to New England. Sure, we have the ‘stand up and greet one another time’ here but in spite of my best intentions no real connections have been made through that. Yet, in five minutes at FBC we met a great couple, who I have no doubt we really would have become great friends if PA was still our home.
But thankfully, there is technology where I can live far away and connect to the people I left behind. It’s a real blessing. All of you who comment, like, message, and text me are appreciated more than you know.
I know I am very blessed by my life, my family, my husband, his and my jobs, and our house that we are working very hard to make it into a home, but the depth and breadth of our families, church connections, and dear dear friends makes it so very hard to leave. In fact, every time we come home, definitely including when we go to my in-laws and their church where I don’t have the connections I have at my parents, it’s hard. We struggle with not wanting to come home, because it makes the pain of leaving again so very fresh. I cry. I cry for the first ten minutes of the drive and then I’m ok. Bryan is of course much less emotional, and I try hard not to be upset, because I know this is where we are supposed to be, and I don’t want to burden Bryan down, worrying unnecessarily about me.
I’m happy to be with Bryan going back to our house. But that doesn’t mean I miss all of those in PA any less. It doesn’t mean I didn’t wish for those connections here. Because I do. It’s hard to know I’ve lived here a year and though there are some good connections, they aren’t the ones I left behind. I know it will take time, and prayers. Both of which I have been, and will continue to invest. We know this is where God wants us, even if we aren’t sure of why things are the way they are.
But don’t worry about me, even though this post wasn’t all happy, I really am ok. Even in the land of Bottled Sunshine, there has to be a few clouds, otherwise we’d never see a rainbow. My parents went through a similar time when they lived in Germany. Sure it’s a great place to live, and nice to travel and see the sights, but just like Pastor Jon said yesterday in church you need fellowship with God, and other believers equally. So we just need to work on our fellowship with others locally.
I wasn’t intending this post to be written like this, but me, and the few readers who like to keep up with our life in Ct, this post seems right. If you are the praying sort, and I pray you are! Would you pray for Bryan and me? Pray that we can make some deeper connections, pray we can get even more involved at church, and pray that even if connections like those we leave behind in PA every time we come home aren’t going to be made here that we can just keep moving on, with our chins up, satisfied that this is what God has for us? I appreciate you more than you know, and am so thankful for the ways we can interact and stay in touch.
Tomorrow I’ll be back with more home stuff.