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Homeward Bound


What a great movie. I was always a fan of Sassy. And that Chance was annoying, but I digress. Today is not a ‘home’ post, it’s just going to be a re-cap of our trip home, and the accompanying emotions.

This past weekend Bryan and I went home, to my parents, for the first time since Christmas. It was great to be back in the area where I knew all the roads and could get from point A to point B without consulting my phone. It was great to see my family face-to-face instead of via picture messages.

 

We were able to fit in a wedding (Congrats Karstie and Chris!); my little taller brother’s birthday (yay Alex!) Can’t believe you are 15, and almost as tell as Brandon! Bryan and I are soon to be the shortest of the family. ImageAnd we also got to fit in my sweet cousin’s 30th birthday celebration (you looked gorgeous Em!) It was great to see my sweet cousins, don’t see them near enough and we were so glad we could make it.

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I have years worth of memories of us playing on the beach, making plans that someday our kids would play on the beach together, like the big family groups with lots of adults and tons of kids. Maybe someday we will actually fulfill it!

Those two family events made it more than worth the 8 hours in the car. And the two hours of traffic. Seeing my mom, dad, brothers, sister, grandparents, cousins, and aunt made it such a great weekend. We missed a few cousins, and an aunt and uncle, wish they all could have come. My family is small, very small, and those who have passed away left behind holes that can’t be filled, but I am so thankful for the few I still have. *tear

It was fantastic to visit my parents church. The new building was fabulous, but the people that make the church were even better. The church we attend here in Ct is great, but there is nothing like knowing so many of the large congregation and being greeted by them. I’m part of the family there. It’s a stark reminder of how much nicer everyone is in PA compared to New England. Sure, we have the ‘stand up and greet one another time’ here but in spite of my best intentions no real connections have been made through that. Yet, in five minutes at FBC we met a great couple, who I have no doubt we really would have become great friends if PA was still our home.

But thankfully, there is technology where I can live far away and connect to the people I left behind. It’s a real blessing. All of you who comment, like, message, and text me are appreciated more than you know.

I know I am very blessed by my life, my family, my husband, his and my jobs, and our house that we are working very hard to make it into a home, but the depth and breadth of our families, church connections, and dear dear friends makes it so very hard to leave. In fact, every time we come home, definitely including when we go to my in-laws and their church where I don’t have the connections I have at my parents, it’s hard. We struggle with not wanting to come home, because it makes the pain of leaving again so very fresh. I cry. I cry for the first ten minutes of the drive and then I’m ok. Bryan is of course much less emotional, and I try hard not to be upset, because I know this is where we are supposed to be, and I don’t want to burden Bryan down, worrying unnecessarily about me.

I’m happy to be with Bryan going back to our house. But that doesn’t mean I miss all of those in PA any less. It doesn’t mean I didn’t wish for those connections here. Because I do. It’s hard to know I’ve lived here a year and though there are some good connections, they aren’t the ones I left behind. I know it will take time, and prayers. Both of which I have been, and will continue to invest. We know this is where God wants us, even if we aren’t sure of why things are the way they are.

But don’t worry about me, even though this post wasn’t all happy, I really am ok. Even in the land of Bottled Sunshine, there has to be a few clouds, otherwise we’d never see a rainbow. My parents went through a similar time when they lived in Germany. Sure it’s a great place to live, and nice to travel and see the sights, but just like Pastor Jon said yesterday in church you need fellowship with God, and other believers equally. So we just need to work on our fellowship with others locally.

I wasn’t intending this post to be written like this, but me, and the few readers who like to keep up with our life in Ct, this post seems right. If you are the praying sort, and I pray you are! Would you pray for Bryan and me? Pray that we can make some deeper connections, pray we can get even more involved at church, and pray that even if connections like those we leave behind in PA every time we come home aren’t going to be made here that we can just keep moving on, with our chins up, satisfied that this is what God has for us? I appreciate you more than you know, and am so thankful for the ways we can interact and stay in touch.

Tomorrow I’ll be back with more home stuff.

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11 Comments Post a comment
  1. Courtney, I love that movie! And of course I will keep you and Bryan in my prayers. Even though I am still near Messiah, trying to really connect and find a home church has been a struggle. I think I am just finding one now, but it is a little intimidating to jump right in and be the “new girl” for a while. Praying that God brings fellow believers into your life in CT to help make it feel like home! Blessings – Joanna

    Like

    June 3, 2013
    • Thank you Joanna! We too think we have found a church, but getting plugged in is a whole new ball of wax. I think part of the struggle is this area has such a flux of people, due to the Coast Guard Academy, two other colleges, a Navy base, etc, that residents of the area find it hard to keep connecting with people that won’t be here that long.

      Like

      June 3, 2013
    • oops, I hit enter before I finished my reply! I will pray for you as well, that the connections and support system for you grows as well! Thanks for taking the time to comment!
      Courtney

      Like

      June 3, 2013
  2. Absolutely – finding a church and becoming an active participant (community member) within that church are two different things. Hopefully you’ll find some others who have made or are making that area their home. Love from Central PA!

    Like

    June 3, 2013
    • Thanks Joanna! Love to you too, from coastal Ct!

      Like

      June 3, 2013
  3. Leigh Henry #

    I’ve been there…I feel like it strengthened our marriage and made me appreciate what I have now…but it was painful. And pathetic at times:)

    Like

    June 3, 2013
    • thanks Leigh!!! (Don’t know how I missed this comment the first time around!)

      Like

      August 9, 2013
  4. It’s hard isn’t it? I’m in the same boat at the moment – 10 hours from my family, 9 hours from his, and neither of us had ever left home before we got married in January. I can’t wait til we can go home to visit! Will definitely say a prayer for you guys 🙂

    Like

    June 3, 2013
    • Thanks Gemz! Prayers for you as well! (Sorry this reply is so stinking late…I don’t know how I missed it!)

      Like

      August 9, 2013
  5. Dawn caracio #

    Hi Courtney These seasons of life are just that seasons. I will pray that God provides perhaps just one friend that can provide fellowship encouragement and a time of growing in this Lord for you! When I moved to MN I made many friends but again felt a bit unfulfilled. It is not always about the quantity but quality. God showed me that Jesus friendship was all I needed. He will tell you the truth, hear your secrets and tell you His. bare your soul to Him He will give you so much more than just friendship. Enjoy your summer and hope to hear of good things coming from your way in CT.

    Like

    June 10, 2013
    • Thanks Dawn! You are so right, that was my’s experience in Germany, and mine here. Most days (like today) I’m much more accepting of the situation. Even on the harder days I know God has me here for a reason and I’m determined to shine my light.

      Like

      June 10, 2013

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